One Month

Well it's been one month since my Father in Law, Bob passed away. Some days it feels like he's been gone for years and most days it's hard to even remember he's not in the hospital or at dialysis. He's just gone.

He was 67 years old and left behind a wife, a brother, 4 sons, and 7 grandsons. He had been retired for 11 years from GM and loved going on cruises to the Caribbean. He and my MIL had been on 17 cruises in the past 15 years. He loved his atomic watch and staying up to date on the weather.

He went into the hospital right before Christmas because his kidney blood work was in the danger zone. He spent 5 days in the hospital that time and missed Christmas at my house. In February he was rushed by ambulance to the ER for severe difficulty breathing and poor oxygen levels. He spent 12 days in the hospital that time. During that hospital stay he was still trying to get his kidneys working while battling the congestive heart failure. Shortly after he was discharged his Doctor told him he "could go at anytime". We were DEVESTATED.

He was determined to fight until the very end. When H and I first broached the subject of hospice with MIL we wanted her to know it was an option that could ensure he was kept comfortable since the Doctor said there was nothing more that could be done. When MIL was ready to hear what hospice companies had to say, FIL was still deadset on healing his kidneys with dialysis and then "going to the Cleveland Clinic to get a new heart". A couple days later MIL and FIL had the talk and FIL verbalized that he wasn't improving so it would okay to make an appointment with hospice. 14 days later he had less than 24 hours to live.

H and I were there through it all. H skipped his annual Super Bowl party to watch the game with his Dad in the hospital and I know he has no regrets about that decision. H also went up to the hospital a couple times to watch hockey games with his Dad. I'm so glad he did that and I know he is tool.

We were fortunate enough to be able to take time from work to be with MIL and FIL especially near the end. We spent a great deal of the night at his bedside, MIL was snuggled up next to him. Nearly all of his children and daughters in law were holding his hands, rubbing his feet, praying for him and spilling our hearts out to him to soothe and calm him. He passed away at 4am in his own bed snuggled next to my MIL. My Brother in law came to wake us all around 4am after MIL called out that she thought the end was here. By the time I got down the hall into the bedroom he was gone.

From what I've heard from the experiences of others this was as peaceful as it could've been and I know my H is so thankful we were able to be there for MIL and with FIL for his last moments on earth.