Today is not so great. Well... I was having a great morning until a well meaning friend texted me about if I was able to come to her baby shower in a couple weeks.
I am not such a great friend as I avoided getting my mail out of my mailbox for a week knowing that the invite was coming. Then when I finally did get the mail I left the invitation un-opened on the kitchen counter for another couple days until H opened it for me. The baby's super cute sonogram picture is on the invitation. (cue the sad lifetime movie music.)
I just cannot do it. I cannot attend this baby shower right now. I'm happy for my friend. I'm grateful that she isn't going through infertility (IF) and she didn't even have to try to conceive her baby. But I'm like one more "accidental pregnancy" announcement away from losing my shit on everyone.
I didn't lie to her and make up an excuse as to why I can't attend. I shouldn't have to lie, I should be able to talk about this shit with my friends. I just told her I can't attend and am sorry to miss her celebration. More so I'm just sorry that this part of my life is so freakin' shitty. My friend texted me back and said she was actually meeting up with another friend of ours for dinner tonight- I should join them. I am excited!!! I thought this would be a great opportunity to give her the shower gift since I wouldn't be attending.
While I was on the phone with H, I texted the other friend to let her know I invited myself. She asked if I had heard her news. I hadn't, but I know what that means. "Have you heard my news?" means either you are engaged or pregnant. She doesn't have a boyfriend right now so I know she's not engaged...
She texted back "Prego, and by accident".
GREAT!
Of course you are!!!
I told H about her "have you heard my news" text and then when her reply text came in he asked me about it and I could barely get the words out. It was instant waterworks here folks. H asked me if I was going to be okay and then told me not to cry -as I got up from my desk to shut my office door to cry in private. I told him I'd keep it to a minimum and we hung up.
I already said I would meet them for dinner and I do miss them and very much would like to see them. What do I do?
Normally I would flake-the-fuck-out and not think twice about self preservation but I'm slightly worried that my friends will start to think I'm going to get all "Hand that Rocks the Cradle" on them. I know for sure I will never become THAT unhinged regardless of what happens. These girls are both older than me, they are good people, they want children- these babies are good things and they will be adorable!
I called my friend crying on the phone like a little bitch to tell them about this circus. She gave me three reasons I could use to get out of it and then was very encouraging and empathetic. I feel better.
I think I will still go to dinner because I miss those fertile bitches.
CLIFFS NOTES VERSION:
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OOPS
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