Who Shitted On Da Flo?

I like a good story as much as the next guy! So I will share.

My Sister works downtown in a high rise building in the busy business district. She works in a call center with about 10 other very nice women. While everyone gets along very well, some of the women are more lax in their grammar. Think inner city slang type speech, but not quite Ebonics.

On this particular day one of the said slang talkin' ladies came hurriedly out from the bathroom that was shared by the entire floor of their company. My sister heard her very upset voice, rambling from down the hall. As the woman made it back into the call center area she was telling several other people about the atrocity she had just witnessed in the restroom.

She describes that she went in there to do her business. She entered her normal stall door to find a large TURD on the floor. She then says she got out of there so fast and then asks "Okay, who SHITTED on da flo?".

My amazing little sister shared this gem of a story with me, all of her friends, and then my friends, We now have this running joke- because it's hilarious. Apparently it happened again on, at least, one other occasion. Then a couple people were fired for various reasons and the shitting on the floor stopped.

It's also funny for me because my sister has a phobia of public restrooms because they are dirty and germy but also because she has some pretty intense issues with "breathing in other peoples poop fumes and putting those germs into her lungs". I'm sure hearing that you have a phantom floor shitter in your midst made her eyes bug out of her head. I wish I could've been there!

But the cherry on this sundae is really this email that I received from my cousin who I don't get to see every week because she moved two states away:

We have a bio-parent who gets to visit with her son every week...she has a "medical problem" which causes her to need a diaper. Well, yesterday she went into our bathroom which we share with several other suites in the building and apparently left her shit filled diaper on the floor as well as poop everywhere in the bathroom. Our building manager emailed us and told us to attend the "children" who use our bathrooms. When my co-worker told me this story I immediately thought "who shitted on da floor". HAHA!!!

-A