Telling my husband the good news was no easy feat.
The original plan was that I was to call him and tell him what the doctors office said. If it was bad news he was going to try to meet me at home and help me down a bottle of wine.
Since it ended up being the best news ever that changed the game a little bit. Once I regained my composure in the car (because no way could I stay at work being the jittery crying mess I was) I decided I didn't want to call him.I didn't want to miss out on seeing his facial expressions and I wouldn't be able to hug him until hours later when he returned home from work. LAME!
When we began our journey in October 2008, I had grandiose ideas about creative ways I might use to tell my husband that we were pregnant. Once a medical team started intervening in 2010 with Clomid and then onto IUIs, I had pretty much given up on that shit. With this positive pregnancy test result, I saw my opportunity to reclaim my original dreams. So like every 30 year old suburbanite woman, I devised my plan and set out to procure supplies for the surprise at Target.
Once I got to Target I picked up some bibs that said "Worth the Wait" a digital pregnancy test and a copy of "What to Expect When You're Expecting". I also picked up a fancy canned meal "Filet Mignon" flavor for the dog because... the WHOLE family is celebrating tonight!
It was now around 2:30pm and H starts texting me "Anything?"... "Have you heard anything yet?" and I'm stalling him. "No, honey. Haven't heard anything yet."
So when I get home, I put the book, the baby bibs, and the pregnancy test in a bag. I wanted to include the dog in the surprise for my husband and I'd seen a very cute idea on another blog that I follow. I got on the computer and typed up a sign for the dog to wear "I'm gonna be a big brother", but of course asshole wouldn't cooperate wearing the sign very well.
Around 3:30 my husband was going out of his mind with nerves and texting me. I knew I couldn't keep him at bay with texts any longer. I called him up and told him that I had called the doctors office to ask them why I hadn't hear anything yet (keep in mind I've known for like 3 hours at this point). I told him the office had said that the lab courier picking up my blood sample had been in an fender bender accident and they had to wait for another lab courier to pick the specimens up around lunch time. So the office says the specimen lab had just now gotten around to processing the samples. I said that the office said I should hear something around 4 or 4:30. I told him, that I told the office to just wait and call me after 5, so that way he'd be home from work by then and we'd get the news together. My husband bought the story. This whole nutty story is believable to him because I work at the hospital where the specimens are sent for processing. It's feasible that I'd be able to validate this fender bender story.
So around 5:15 he gets home from work. My heart starts pounding about how I'm going to do this. I begin wrestling with our asshole dog to try and get the sign on him- he was not cooperating. I hear the door open and I say forget it and just hold the dog and sign.
H walks in and was confused for a second, then his jaw hit the floor. I said "I'm pregnant" and he just stood there for a second and then grinned. I could see the wheels start turning that he realized I made that whole stupid story up. He asked how long I'd known and my heart was pounding as I revealed the entirety of my plot to him. He said "ya know, on the way home, I thought just for a second that whole story was bullshit" and he laughed. I called him a sucker and we hugged.
Then we let the dog eat his Filet Mignon Ceaser canned dinner and H took me out for a steak dinner where we grinned at each other like idiots.
So that's the story of how I broke the news to my baby daddy.