If you have never heard of a Honey Badger, they are one of the most bad ass animals in nature.(see video below)
Lately I've been resisting the urge to throat punch people at work and other well meaning people in my life. I don't know if it's a hormonal thing or what, but I'm just really sick of a lot of the whining and bullshit people are bringing to me at work.
I acknowledge that we all need to talk through our problems to make ourselves feel better, however I can only listen to the same list of complaints- all of which are out of your control for so long. Then I have to fight back the urge to shout "Hey Idiot, you have a 50% chance of this working out for you or not working out for you. Regardless, you'll manage.
I work with several Grandma's (AKA G-Squad) who are scared of the sound of their own farts. You could easily give them a heart attack by asking them to hold others in our company accountable. This whole week I had to sit with my door closed for almost the whole day. Every day.
I can't listen to another stupid "Guess what my perfect grandchild did story or listen to them rave about what new AARP discount they got". I don't give a flying fuck about your Grand kids and I'd really love it if you could actually add value to our department or just fuckin' retire already and let us hire people who want to work. I will not teach you how to use Excel again you better ask someone else.
I've tried to be nice but they would screw me over at lunch time telling me I needed to stay and watch the department so they could all go out to eat with each other since there were only certain days they were all on the schedule. Thanks a lot G-Squad! Don't choke on your Boniva and Ben Gay sandwiches. Assholes!
I wish I could actually tell at work and in my life to fuck off and shut up until they have something to say that's worth listening to, but that wouldn't be the actions of a "Team Player", now would it? I'll just sit behind my closed office door and wait to attack like the Honey Badger.
-A
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