Update on Dinner with the Girls

Dinner was fun. Unfortunately I was the only one with out a fetus growing in my womb.

The story behind the accidental pregnancy was too good not to share. Sometimes when I tell these stories people just go silent. Maybe they blink a little- but they have no words and typically say "You can't make this stuff up".

My friend RS (Real Sassy) is the definition of free spirit. She's hilarious- probably one of the most honest people I've ever met. She's been looking for her prince charming for the five years I've known her. I've lost track of all her boyfriends and couldn't name them all if my life depended on it. I'm full of useless shit knowledge like that. They were nice guys, just not the right one.

I used to be real big on place cards at my annual Friends Thanksgiving dinner. I would re-use the place cards because our group of friends, for the most part, stayed the same. Well after the third year of having to re-make a new one for her current boyfriend I just wrote "RS's Man". All 20 of us laughed about it- EVERY THANKSGIVING! And in truly asshole-ish poor taste, we filled in the new boyfriend about what was so funny. Again, RS was upfront with her guys- so the guys could roll with it.

So at  last weeks dinner, I'm so glad to see my friends and I ask RS about the sperm donor. I didn't know his name or that she was even dating anyone. She filled me in. They met on the "DatingSpot" section of the local news station's website. "I ask weren't you on reputable sites like Eharmony, Match, Cupid?" she said she and a friend were bored one night and wanted to see the "losers" on the Dating Spot. (And for all you 6th grade Creative Writing dorks out there- this is what we call foreshadowing).

RS's account of events had me reacting half the time with my jaw dropped and the other half of the time laughing til I cried. So please allow me to paraphrase her account of events.

RS meets up with this guy who looked very handsome in his photos/has a great smile. They end up bumping uglies several times. They become exclusive. He starts to make her sick errr the fetus inside of her starts to make her sick. She starts realizing (her words, not mine) that "he's pretty incompetent in life. Owns a home but knows nothing about plunging a toilet or starting a lawn mower- seems a little helpless for a 30 year old man". She finally takes a pregnancy test. Test comes back positive. They decide to still go on a trip to Florida. She tells him she's knocked up. He says things like "Oh, cool."

They get back from Florida RS tells him they need to break up because "she cannot stand him". He says things that indicate to her he thinks that a baby will come live with him. She explains that "newborns need to be with their Momma's and that she can't stand him so she will not be at his house." He loses his management job because he took a company car to the bar after work without permission and got in a fight with people that threw rocks at the back of the car so he backed up into said rock throwers and then took off. Rock throwers called the Police and now Sperm Donor may be facing criminal charges for fleeing the scene of an accident and is now unemployed. They've been together 13 weeks and she's 10 weeks pregnant.

RS was going back to have blood work taken this week to make sure everything is on track.

Yesterday while she was there having her blood drawn they gave her another ultra sound and found:

TWINS!!!

Surprise Twins! In the name of Leah & Cory from Teen Mom II this lucky bitch better play the lotto!

RS will be a fantastic mother, I have no doubt of that. In the meantime though, I am going to sit back and watch this episode of "32 & Pregnant" play out.